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Dear Dr. Aaron,

The boat races are coming up and I was thinking it would be a good idea to sell hot dogs from my floating raft named “Big Wiener”. I inflated it and put a big piece of plywood on it to support my grill and decided to test it out. I floated it out about 50 yards from shore and put 2 anchors down to keep me in my spot. I fired up the grill and started to cook some dogs. I like the all-beef dogs, but they are too expensive, so cheap hotdogs to the rescue. I sampled the first one off the grill and it was pretty tasty. I decided it was time to advertise, so I put my big banner up. “Big Weiner Here!” I was sure it would get a lot of attention. It did not take long for people to notice, but just then a strong breeze came up and my banner acted like a sail. The 2 anchors seemed like a good idea when I put them down, but now the sail and anchor combination were working against each other. Combine that with the wake of a monster boat and it was chaos! My grill tipped over, slid off the plywood, melted the raft and it started sinking, my cooler lid blew off, and people on the boat were yelling something about a big wiener. I put my life jacket on and made for shore. It took about 4 trips to recover all of my stuff, the “Big Wiener Here” banner and deflated raft were a real challenge. My back and neck are a wreck, I know you can’t do much to fix my Big Wiener, but can I get an emergency appointment to fix my back?

Thank you, Missing Big Wiener

Dear Wienerless,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot even imagine how I would feel if I were to lose a “Big Wiener” It is great to hear you were wearing your life jacket. I am happy to work on your back and neck, but leave fixing “Big Wiener” to a professional. I’m sure there will be other opportunities to make extra money with or without “Big Wiener”

Always here for you, Dr. Aaron

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