Dear Dr. Aaron: Shoveling Sand, Spilling Beer & Taking a Fall!

My husband thought it would be a great idea to “work out” in preparation for winter. He read a person over 40 should not really shovel snow, determined to not be a statistic, he has been shoveling sand in the garage from one pile to another.

I think his real motivation is to drink a beer in between “sets” of shoveling. The sand is difficult to walk on when spread thin, and you have completed the shovel / drink process for an hour or so. He slipped on the sand, spilled his beer and struggled to get up. He resembled a cartoon character in slow motion, I did not laugh, but I will when he gets better! Can you help him?

Trying not to laugh, in Camdenton

Hi Trying not to laugh,

Medical Assessment of the “Sand-Shoveling Incident”

Ladies and gentlemen, my patient today is a man who read “People over 40 shouldn’t shovel snow” and thought:

“Great idea. I’ll shovel sand in the garage instead. For training.”

Because nothing prepares you for winter like creating your own personal desert and hydrating with beer between sets.

Anyway — let’s discuss his gravity-induced enlightenment moment.

🚑 First Aid for the Sand Athlete

If he:

can’t put weight on something,

hears clicking where there shouldn’t be clicking,

or saw a flash of light that wasn’t divine inspiration,

please escort him to urgent care.

Otherwise, we can assume he has achieved a Level 1 Sprain of Dignity

Apply:

Ice (for swelling and regret)

Rest (no shoveling, sand or otherwise)

OTC pain meds (for both of you)

🏋️‍♂️ Reviewing His Training Plan

Shoveling sand is:

heavier than snow

slipperier than reason

and 100% more dangerous when paired with beer

This routine should be replaced immediately with something safer, like wrestling a live raccoon.

❄️ A Better Winter Workout

To prepare for actual snow, Dr. Aaron prescribes:

Squats

Planks

Glute bridges

Carrying things that don’t behave like quicksand

Optional upgrade: Buy a snow blower like a normal person.

📝 Official Medical Note

“Patient must discontinue beer-interval sand-shoveling training due to high risk of slipping, spilling, and spousal laughter. Recommend strength exercises, hydration with non-alcoholic fluids, and zero garage deserts.”

Always here for you,

Dr. Aaron