Dear Dr. Aaron Blog

This is embarrassing… After my morning shower, I apparently wasn’t as dry as I thought I was when I attempted to put on my underwear. The left leg went in with no problem. The right leg? Not so much. I quickly learned that my balance isn’t what it used to be. On the third hop, I landed on a wet spot and… well, long story short, my shoulder hurts, my ankle is swollen, and I have a gash on my head. My wife, however, is still struggling to breathe from her uncontrollable laughte

I’m so excited about the World Cup! I was out reliving my glory days as a soccer star (I played when I was seven, so basically semi-pro). The neighbor kids’ soccer ball rolled into my yard, and naturally, I was moments away from scoring the game-winning goal of my imagination. Just as my foot was about to make contact, I spotted what I recognized as clear evidence that they own a dog. I managed to pull up at the last second… only to lose my balance and land directly on the so

I injured myself playing golf, but told my wife it was doing chores for her, ( trying to get some sympathy affection) my back is wrecked! Can I pay cash and get an adjustment? Or do I have to turn it in to insurance? Wrecked in Linn Dear Wrecked in Linn Creek, Ah yes… the classic “I hurt myself doing chores” cover story. A tale as old as time—and almost as believable as “I was just watching the score” during a 4-hour golf round 😏⛳️ Good news: you can absolutely pay cash for

My wife went to an esthetician, I had to google it to see what it was. She came home and there was a notable difference, not only in her skin but her attitude, more confident, almost snarky. She is telling me how important self care or self is. I’m from a generation that was taught not to talk of such things. I’m not interested in getting my skin shaved off or fancy sunburn type things, but was wondering if I can get cracked or adjusted or something not called self love. Than

I skipped church this morning (I know… I know). To make up for it, I decided to justify my decision by preparing a legendary Sunday evening barbecue feast for my wife. Brisket, ribs, the whole smoker setup. While rushing around the kitchen trying to find the barbecue seasoning, I discovered I apparently have no idea where anything is in my own house. In the process of aggressively searching, I knocked a jar of peppers off the shelf. It shattered, splashing pepper juice direct

My husband and I work crazy schedules, so we finally celebrated Valentine’s Day yesterday. I wore a new flowy dress and felt amazing! After a romantic dinner, we went for a walk… and apparently Mother Nature had other plans. The wind “helped” move us along so quickly I couldn’t stop and got blown straight into a block wall. We laughed… until I tried to gather myself and my flowy dress caught the wind like a sail on a ship and sent me right back into the wall. My oh-so-loving

After expertly navigating Missouri’s snow and ice like an Olympic-level winter athlete, I regret to inform you that my greatest opponent was actually my puppy… who sabotaged me with an open bottle of hair conditioner. Turns out my balance is excellent on black ice, but absolutely no match for “Salon Slip ’N Slide.” Please advise if stretching, chiropractic care, or rehoming the conditioner is the recommended treatment. Slippery in Osage Beach Dear Slippery, First, congratulat

My wife surprised me with an early Christmas present. A special red light therapy mask. While I truly appreciate her thoughtful gift, I’m pretty certain she was bamboozled, it is like a hockey mask with red Christmas lights in it. She insisted I try it. So while lying in bed, I put it on as she instructed, and it was ok for a minute or so. My wife thought some holiday music would be fun- jingle bells played and the lights on my therapy mask started flashing to the music. I la

My husband thought it would be a great idea to “work out” in preparation for winter. He read a person over 40 should not really shovel snow, determined to not be a statistic, he has been shoveling sand in the garage from one pile to another. I think his real motivation is to drink a beer in between “sets” of shoveling. The sand is difficult to walk on when spread thin, and you have completed the shovel / drink process for an hour or so. He slipped on the sand, spilled his bee

We have a costume party coming up, and my husband insists his idea is hilarious. He wants to wear a hat with a duck bill and a stethoscope — he says everyone will recognize him as a “quackropractor.” Is this offensive, or just harmless fun? 🦆💀 Not a comedian, in Osage Beach #DearDrAaron #HalloweenHumor #LakeoftheOzarks # Dear Osage Comedian, That one gave me a good laugh! No offense taken — as long as the joke’s lighthearted, it’s all in good fun. The word “quack” only stin

I noticed you’re offering Red Light Therapy! My husband and I were talking about all the benefits—except he’s a die-hard DIY guy who swears he can get the same results by putting a red plastic notebook cover over his shop light. Well… after melting the cover (and a few other things in the garage), he’s now sporting a nice burn in addition to his original bad knees. 😅 Please, settle this once and for all—can you explain why Red Light Therapy from your office is not the same a

My husband has been complaining (well, let’s be honest—whining) that one leg feels longer than the other. He keeps saying, “My left leg is too long!” So, for the past three days, he’s taken matters into his own hands—literally—and has been putting the heel of his boot on the belt sander trying to “even his legs out.” I told him maybe what he actually needs is an adjustment, not a power tool. Can one leg all of a sudden become longer? He’s a grown man, after all! Please advise

I was getting ready for fall by washing and waxing my truck when I noticed a puddle of oil under the engine. After 4 hours of crawling around with a flashlight, I finally gave up—only to find out my wife staged the whole thing as a prank. Now I can’t get out of bed, and she insists I’m just being dramatic. Can you help me? Parked on cardboard in Kaiser Dear Cardboard Parker, Well… it sounds like your wife has a future in special effects! Unfortunately, your spine didn’t get t

Summer is ending faster than I expected and my to-do list is nowhere near complete. In my rush to clean up around the house, I grabbed a piece of tin that blew in from one of our famous windstorms. What I almost grabbed along with it? A SNAKE. Pretty sure my heart stopped—my body took off running before my feet got the memo, and the next thing I know, I’m rolling on the ground like a fire drill gone wrong. Stop, drop, and roll—but for snakes. My knee is a mess, I can hardly w

Is it actually possible to displace a rib while cooking ribs? My husband swears he “threw a rib out” lifting a tray of ribs into the smoker. I say he just had one too many adult beverages while “supervising” the smoke. Now he’s walking around holding his side like he’s auditioning for a barbecue drama. So, Doc—do ribs really go “out,” or is this just a case of too much sauce and not enough sense? Signed, Saucy but Skeptical Dear Saucy but Skeptical, Yes, ribs can cause some v

Well, this is about as embarrassing as it gets. I was shaving my legs in preparation for the big boating events. Things were going fine until I decided to get fancy and make sure I didn’t miss any stray hairs. This required me to twist, bend, and practically stand on my head in the shower. Somewhere between "contortionist yoga pose" and "Cirque du Soapy," I realized I was… stuck. I couldn’t straighten up, couldn’t finish the job, and was pretty sure my hamstring had signed a

TikTok told me wearing different weight earrings could fix my neck and headaches. I went with two pounds on one side. Ripped my earlobe, neck still hurts, and now I’m walking crooked. Help before people start using me as a human level. Leaning Tower in lake Ozark Dear Leaning Tower of Piercing, TikTok strikes again! 😂 Two pounds is less "therapy" and more "construction equipment." I'm afraid you've discovered the hard way that not every internet health hack deserves a test r

I find myself in a bit of a bind—literally. While heroically lifting a case of adult beverages (purely for hydration purposes, of course), I managed to tweak my back. The real injury, however, would come from telling my wife the truth. I’d never hear the end of it. So I’m sticking with the story that my back hurts from carrying around all this handsomeness. Please don’t blow my cover. Can you help a guy out? Preferably before I have to lift anything else… like my pride. Since

My beautiful mom came to visit, and like the devoted son I am, I helped her bring her things into the house. In a noble (and very manly) gesture, I grabbed her purse—because it’s Mom, of course. What I didn’t anticipate was the sheer, spine-compressing weight of that deceptively dainty handbag. Somewhere between the front door and the kitchen, I felt something in my back go pop, and not in a festive way. Can you help me? Thank you in advance, Son of Steel, Back of Glass Dear

I’ve really gotten myself into a pickle. After five months of relentless begging, negotiating, and a few promises I probably can’t keep, my wife finally gave in and let me buy a new-to-me boat—not just any boat, but a fast boat. We took it out for the first time, and wow, it was everything I hoped for. We cruised the lake, stopped at a restaurant, and for the first time, I felt like I truly belonged among the sleek, powerful boats lined up at the dock. After our meal, I was f