Dear Dr. Aaron,

I find myself in a bit of a bind—literally. While heroically lifting a case of adult beverages (purely for hydration purposes, of course), I managed to tweak my back. The real injury, however, would come from telling my wife the truth. I’d never hear the end of it.

So I’m sticking with the story that my back hurts from carrying around all this handsomeness. Please don’t blow my cover.

Can you help a guy out? Preferably before I have to lift anything else… like my pride.

Sincerely,

Injured but Dignified

Dear Injured but Dignified,

Ah yes, the classic “handsomeness strain”—a condition we see quite often, especially in cases involving weekend warrior lifting and covert beverage logistics. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. HIPAA protects bad decisions too.

Let’s get you in, adjusted, and back to lifting things that matter (like your ego). We’ll even help you walk upright again so your story is more believable.

Call the office—we’ve got an ice pack and a straight face waiting for you.

Stay handsome,

Dr. Aaron