Dear Dr. Aaron,

After expertly navigating Missouri’s snow and ice like an Olympic-level winter athlete, I regret to inform you that my greatest opponent was actually my puppy… who sabotaged me with an open bottle of hair conditioner.

Turns out my balance is excellent on black ice, but absolutely no match for “Salon Slip ’N Slide.” Please advise if stretching, chiropractic care, or rehoming the conditioner is the recommended treatment.

Slippery in Osage Beach

Dear Slippery,

First, congratulations on surviving Snowmageddon 2026. Unfortunately, many patients forget the most dangerous winter hazard… puppies with access to bathroom products.

Hair conditioner is known to cause sudden loss of dignity, rapid unplanned splits, and temporary questioning of life choices. While I cannot prescribe puppy discipline (yet), I can recommend gentle stretching, proper alignment, and getting checked out if you’re feeling sore, stiff, or bruised after your unexpected “figure skating debut.”

In the meantime, I suggest:

✔ Puppy-proofing all toiletry items

✔ Installing anti-slip mats

✔ Accepting that puppies are adorable but OSHA violations with fur

If soreness sticks around longer than a few days, you know where to find me — we’ll get you moving safely again!

– Dr. Aaron