Dear Dr. Aaron,

My beautiful mom came to visit, and like the devoted son I am, I helped her bring her things into the house. In a noble (and very manly) gesture, I grabbed her purse—because it’s Mom, of course. What I didn’t anticipate was the sheer, spine-compressing weight of that deceptively dainty handbag. Somewhere between the front door and the kitchen, I felt something in my back go pop, and not in a festive way.

Can you help me?

Thank you in advance,

Son of Steel, Back of Glass

Dear “Son of Steel, Back of Glass,”

Ah yes, the classic Mom Purse Injury. A tale as old as time — deceptively small on the outside, yet containing the weight of a neutron star inside. Between the 8 lbs of quarters, mystery hard candies, 3 bottles of lotion, a flashlight, and what may or may not be a brick from 1982… you didn’t stand a chance.

Absolutely, I can help. Whether it’s a heroic miscalculation or a purse-related trauma, we take all kinds of back injuries seriously. Give the office a call — we’ll get you moving again, and maybe even recommend a spotter next time you handle that handbag.

PS: Carrying your mom’s purse is manly. Getting taken down by it? Even more legendary.

— Dr. Aaron