Dear Dr. Aaron: Mom's Purse Nearly Broke My Back!

My beautiful mom came to visit, and like the devoted son I am, I helped her bring her things into the house. In a noble (and very manly) gesture, I grabbed her purse—because it’s Mom, of course. What I didn’t anticipate was the sheer, spine-compressing weight of that deceptively dainty handbag. Somewhere between the front door and the kitchen, I felt something in my back go pop, and not in a festive way.

Can you help me?

Thank you in advance,

Son of Steel, Back of Glass

Dear “Son of Steel, Back of Glass,”

Ah yes, the classic Mom Purse Injury. A tale as old as time — deceptively small on the outside, yet containing the weight of a neutron star inside. Between the 8 lbs of quarters, mystery hard candies, 3 bottles of lotion, a flashlight, and what may or may not be a brick from 1982… you didn’t stand a chance.

Absolutely, I'd be happy to help! Whether it's a heroic miscalculation or a purse-related catastrophe, we take back pain seriously.

Let's get you evaluated to determine what's causing the discomfort and discuss appropriate treatment options. And next time you volunteer to carry Mom's purse, perhaps request a spotter—or at least a warning label!

P.S. Carrying your mom's purse is manly. Getting taken down by it? Even more legendary. 😂

— Dr. Aaron