Dear Dr. Aaron,

I’m upset, stiff, and a little salty—literally and emotionally. My wife is almost perfect… almost.

We were out enjoying a flawless day in our new-to-us vintage boat. The sun was shining, the lake was sparkling, and life was good. When it was time to head home, the plan was simple: ease up to the dock, drop off my wife so she could get the truck and trailer, and I’d handle the rest.

But nooooooo, she insisted I back in the trailer because “too many people were watching.” She didn’t want to be embarrassed. So, I reluctantly handed over the controls like a good husband and got ready to jump onto the dock.

I calmly briefed her: shift to neutral, then reverse if needed to fight the wind. I heard a soft, concerned “uuuuuuhhhhh…” and then—BAM—we lurched forward like a torpedo aimed at my dignity. I’m not sure if she zigged, zagged, or briefly reenacted a Fast & Furious scene, but I now understand whiplash on a spiritual level.

I can’t turn my head. The internet says it’s possibly a disease from the Congo. I think it’s more likely boat-related betrayal.

Please help. I need relief… and maybe a prescription ordering my wife to give me neck rubs for life.

Sincerely,

Boated and Busted Absolutely!

Dear Boated and Busted,

First things first: Ice, ice baby! 🧊🧊

What you’re describing sounds like a textbook case of “dockside whiplash meets marital boat miscommunication syndrome.” Don’t worry—you are not the first, and you won’t be the last. But that doesn’t mean you should suffer!

Call the office now—we’ll get you taken care of. You need proper treatment, not an internet diagnosis involving jungle diseases. And as for that lifetime neck rub prescription? Let’s just say… I can strongly recommend it as part of your home care plan. 😏

Looking forward to getting your neck (and pride) realigned,

Dr. Aaron

📞 Call today. We’ve got you covered—on land and sea.