I am beyond embarrassed. I was multitasking like a modern-day marvel—curling my hair AND scrolling through cat videos. All was well until one particularly acrobatic feline made me laugh-snort mid-curl… and then the smell hit. 🔥👃 In my panic to rescue my now slightly crunchy hair, I dropped my phone. The phone ricocheted off my Stanley mug, launched a tidal wave of hot coffee onto my feet, and turned my bathroom into a slip ’n slide. 🐱📱➡️☕💦🦶 Now my back hurts, my pride is bruised, and I cannot—I repeat—cannot let my husband know. He’s been warning me about my “curl-scroll-coffee chaos” for months. I plan to tell him I hurt my back doing something noble and mysterious. Please back me up with a medical alibi. 😅 Sincerely, “Definitely Not Burnt, Slippery, or Busted” P.S. Can I get an appointment before my next caffeine-induced disaster? 🙃 Dear “Definitely Not Burnt, Slippery or Busted,” Your secret is safe with me. In fact, I’ll mark it in the chart as “injured while rescuing endangered wildlife from a bathroom flood”—very heroic. 🦸‍♀️🛁 Back pain from multitasking misadventures is more common than you’d think, especially when high-performance mugs, rogue curling irons, and hyperactive cats are involved. You’ve essentially described the Bermuda Triangle of home hazards. 🔺🔥📱☕ Let’s get you in, get you straightened out, and restore your ability to scroll safely. And no worries—when your husband asks, I’ll nod solemnly and say, “It was the laundry basket. Classic case.” Call the office. We’ll get you patched up and protected from future feline-related fiascos. Yours in discretion and spinal alignment, Dr. Aaron

It finally happened! While trying to dodge the raindrops here in Osage Beach, I stepped into a hole hidden beneath some overflowing water—turns out, hips really don’t lie. I don’t currently have insurance and was wondering if you’re accepting new patients. If so, I’d appreciate any information about options available for someone in my situation. Sincerely, Not Shakira in Osage Beach P.S. I ruined my Hey Dudes… Dear Shakira Wannabe, I am accepting new patients, and self-pay is always welcome. Helping people heal, get back to work, and afford new shoes is one of my top priorities. As for dodging raindrops—it’s a skill best left to agile kids and trained ninjas! Give us a call to schedule your appointment. Looking forward to helping you get back on your feet (and out of puddles). Best, Dr. Aaron

Today started like any other. Birds chirping, sun shining, me, brimming with confidence as I reached down to put on my socks… BIG MISTAKE. Somewhere between heel and toe, my lower back decided it had had enough. I froze mid-sock like a poorly designed action figure, one foot in the air, pain shooting up like I was being tasered by my own spine. Cue me, collapsing sideways like a slow-mo Jenga tower, still gripping the sock like it owed me money. Enter: Dr. Aaron, my personal superhero/chiropractor/general wizard. With the precision of a ninja and the calm of a monk, he cracked, stretched, and recalibrated me back to semi-functioning human form. Now I’m upright, walking like a baby deer on ice, but ALIVE. Moral of the story: Never underestimate socks. Always stretch before battle. Dr. Aaron is a legend. I’m buying slip-ons.

It all started on a Monday, which is nature’s way of telling you that happiness is optional. I woke up, stretched like a majestic housecat, and then—pop. My back decided it was time for early retirement. Naturally, I turned to the most trusted medical expert in the world: Google. Phase 1: Self-Diagnosis, aka “Dr. Google Will See You Now” I typed in: “Sharp back pain when I breathe, bend, blink, or exist.” First result? “You might have spinal cancer. Or gas.” I wasn’t sure whether to make a will or eat a burrito. Second result was a blog by a guy named Chad who healed his spine using Himalayan salt, goat yoga, and intermittent screaming. I tried it. My dog now thinks I’ve joined a cult and I might have mild salt poisoning. Phase 2: Home Remedies (that should be illegal) I found a YouTube video titled “Fix Your Back Pain in 60 Seconds OR ELSE.” The thumbnail featured a man smiling while twisted like a pretzel being attacked by a raccoon. I followed the steps: Lay on floor. Roll side to side while making a noise that sounds like a haunted door. Drink celery juice while chanting “I am supple.” I pulled a muscle sneezing from the celery juice. My back pain upgraded to a Premium Subscription. Phase 3: Acceptance (and Crying on the Floor) After trying yoga, ice packs, heat packs, peppermint essential oil, and one very judgmental foam roller, I was found sprawled on the living room floor muttering, “I think my spine is trying to crawl out of my body.” That’s when I gave in and typed: “Real doctor help please my back is dying” And I hit the jackpot. Enter: Dr. Aaron. Dr. Aaron didn’t just help—he rescued me. He saw past the desperate, typo-filled email and said, “Okay, first, stop doing goat yoga. Second, your spine is not possessed.” He guided me with calm authority, professionalism, and the kind of sympathy only someone who’s read “10 Ways to Heal Your Back With Crystals” can offer. “Let’s start with proper posture,” he said. “Like sitting?” I asked. “Exactly. But… correctly.” I was shook. Under Dr. Aaron’s watchful virtual eye, I learned about stretches that didn’t require sacrificing my dignity. He introduced me to core exercises that didn’t feel like medieval torture. And perhaps most importantly, he never once suggested celery juice. Conclusion: Thanks to Dr. Aaron—and despite Google’s best efforts—I’m walking upright again. I still can’t do goat yoga without PTSD, and my foam roller now lives in the garage, where it can think about what it’s done. Moral of the story? If your back hurts, skip Google. Call Dr. Aaron. Unless you want to accidentally summon a chiropractor ghost using Himalayan salt and a kazoo.

So today, while heroically mowing my lawn like the responsible adult I pretend to be, I stepped in a hole. Didn’t think much of it… until I realized I’d been mowing in circles for a solid five minutes. Apparently, I either have one leg shorter than the other or I’ve unlocked a hidden talent for creating crop circles in suburbia. Is there a medical term for “Wonky Lawn Syndrome”? Or should I just accept my fate as the human compass? Wonky in Linn Creek Dear Wonky, It is nearly impossible to diagnose Wonky Lawn Syndrome without a full examination—preferably one involving video footage of your circular mowing technique. However, should it be confirmed that you are, in fact, a human compass, your future is bright… particularly in the cruise industry, where your natural inclination to spin in circles may finally find purpose. In the meantime, please avoid holes, unsupervised landscaping, and making crop circles in residential neighborhoods. Call our office right away—we’ll get you checked out before you start attracting UFOs. Sincerely, Dr. Aaron (Definitely Not a Lawn Care Specialist)

I hope you can help? I strained myself holding up a wall that came crashing down during the storm. I’m not sure how long I was holding it. I woke up and realized it was a hyper- realistic dream , nevertheless my cramps and pain are still here! Insurance is not an option, so I hope I can self pay? Thank you! Dreamer in Eldon Dear Dreamer, You are in luck and not dreaming anymore! You are welcome to self pay and I will get you in right away. Take care of your body and it will take care of you!! Always here for you! Dr. Aaron

Dear Dr. Aaron, I’m in a real jam, my wife and I took a long deserved vacation out of the country. Traveling and discussing all of our plans everything was just perfect. I mentioned wanting to taste some Single Malt Scotch Whiskey along the way. She suggested I should buy a quality bottle thinking it would last a long time and visitors might enjoy a taste from our trip. The Airplane landed and we had a few minutes to kill, so we browsed the duty free shop in the terminal. I was drawn to the whiskey section and noticed a bottle with a $20000. Price tag. After a quick google conversion $25,737.60 in US dollars. Without any warning I asked her if I should still purchase a “good bottle”? She said “YES!” Slightly frustrated at my repeat of the topic. I said “Ok” and pointed at the bottle, she glanced and said whatever you want… and then she turned her head like a ninja! It was so fast, and the color left her face, well before turning purple mad, her response can be summed up as “NO”. Now her neck hurts, I have no Scotch, and she is cranky. Can you get her in and fix her neck, and take long enough for me to run to the store and get a more “affordable” option? Thank you in advance, Scotchless in Osage Beach Dear Scotch, We can get her fixed up and maybe even help to give you time to shop! You might try the angle of you are starting to collect Scotch, explain it is like baseball cards for adults! Always here for you, Dr Aaron P.S. Macadoodles is close by

While studying for my EMT test I thought it might help me relax a little if I had a bit of Bourbon. Well, a bit might be an understatement, now I cannot recall if I fell going up or down the steps, or if I really saw a polar bear or a Great Pyrenees dog. What I do know is I am having hip and lower back pain, when I woke up “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” was blaring. I assume the loud music is responsible for my headache. I assume water and headache medicine will help, but can you help with an adjustment? Please help! EMT B(bourbon) in Climax Springs Dear EMT- Bourbon, I am not an advocate for excessive drinking. I am an advocate for informed patients! It is clear you made a simple mistake when choosing the appropriate study aid. • A study published in the Journal of Consciousness and Cognition explored this phenomenon, finding that participants who consumed a pint of beer performed better on a creative problem-solving task (like finding common connections between seemingly unrelated words) compared to those who drank a non-alcoholic version. • The research suggested that alcohol may loosen focus, allowing for spontaneous insight and "Aha!" moments, aiding in creative problem-solving. • A study by the University of Exeter found that drinking alcohol improved the recall of information learned earlier in the study, with those who drank more alcohol recalling more words than the sober participants. We can discuss your choices at your appointment. No need to bring in your Bourbon for evaluation. Always here for you, Dr. Aaron If EMT-B = bourbon, what does EMT-P =?

I’m glad I can type this, my handwriting is illegible. Fishing is my thing, watching fishing shows on YouTube, or out in the boat casting is where I want to be. In my efforts to be ready to land monsters this spring, I was practicing casting in the front yard. My neighbors dog Amos is very friendly and was watching as I sent a big hookless plastic bait out to the street over and over again. Amos unexpectedly chased the bait and to my amazement grabbed it. I kinda panicked, Amos took off like a shot and my rod and reel with him. I gave chase yelling for him to stop. Amos would let me get close and take off again. Frustrated but unwilling to give up my gear, I tried to trick him, I was so intent on getting my gear I missed the clothesline or rather found the clothesline. My back is wrecked!! Ice or heat? It is always confusing… Clotheslined in Osage Beach P.S. Amos left my gear on my porch Dear Clotheslined, The key is to ice for 20 minutes, causing the vessels to narrow, and then heat for 15 minutes, causing the vessels to dilate. Repeat until you can come see me. All things can be contact sports, maybe keep some Amos treats handy to keep from becoming the baited. Always here for you, Dr. Aaron P.S. fishing is almost as fun as deer hunting

Dear Dr. Aaron, While preparing to dazzle my beautiful wife with some Valentines Day magic, tragedy struck. My plan was to feed her a chocolate covered strawberry and treat her to a massage. I prepared the plate of chocolate deliciousness and made my way to the bedroom. My wife surprised me coming from the bathroom and it was all downhill from there. Strawberries on the floor, dog trying to eat them, my wife yelling not to let the dog eat chocolate. In my efforts to settle things I stepped on a berry and the next thing I know the dog was licking my face. When I finally made it to my feet, it was difficult to stand, now I’m miserable, do you take same day appointments? Strawberry Slipper in Gravois Mills Dear Slipper, It sounds like your heart started in the right place, well, before it was on the floor! We will see you today, please refrain from bringing fruit of any kind! Your luck could be contagious. Always here for you, Dr. Aaron P.S. treat your significant other like every day is Valentines Day, unless you have bad luck every Valentines Day..

Dear Dr. Aaron, It finally happened! I pulled my back. My wife keeps telling me it is impossible to “pull ones back” however, Its my back and I am pretty sure its pulled. After a long-civilized discussion, we compromised, and I am doing as she demanded, looking for a “quackropractor.” I read your posts and it seems like you are a no-nonsense kind of guy. I will call today for an appointment, but in the meantime what can I do for immediate relief? My wife also thought it was important to tell you how I injured myself. It was early morning and I was trying to put my pants on. Her fancy pillows were covering the chair so I had to perform acrobatics when my toe caught the waistband, causing me to fall flat on my back. I think I was still fine until I jumped up too quickly… my wife claims she may have injured herself laughing. Thank you, Bruised Ego in Brumley     Dear Bruised, You seem to have found a way to keep your wife smiling! Those pesky pants will get you every time. Quackropractor? We will discuss your interesting choice of nickname in person. Call and we will get you in right away. It does help knowing the mechanism of injury. Immediate relief is best prescribed after an initial visit and evaluation. Ice on affected areas will help with swelling. Always here to help, Dr. Aaron (aka DA’ QUACKROPRACTOR) P.S. I do agree, fancy pillows are over rated…

I cannot even describe how excited I was when the Chiefs won the Championship! I have a couple of issues from it. My voice is nearly gone from screaming at the television and the last Chiefs touchdown made me jump up, spilling my coffee all over the floor. My wife was yelling at me- the dog started barking, as I sprinted to get a towel, my foot slipped causing me to do a cartoonish style fall. I couldn’t see the game, my wife was laughing hysterically, the dog was tasting the coffee, all in all, I love Chiefs Kingdom, I love my wife, I love my dog. I hate the hardwood floor and the pain it is causing me. Can you help me feel better so I can enjoy the Super Bowl? Uncle Tom in Iberia   Dear Uncle Tom, Wow! Is your dog a Chiefs fan? Come in today, you will be back to normalish… in no time! Sports are a great way to bring people together. Unfortunately it supplies me with many clients! Chiefs Kingdom is strong, you will be ready to celebrate with them! Always here to help, Dr. Aaron P.S. did your wife catch this incident on video?....