Dear Dr. Aaron,

5th of July Float Trip from Hell.

The canoe got stuck on a rock, we were run over by a party raft full of people who definitely didn’t notice, tossed into swift water, bounced off sharp rocks, and came out the other side looking like we’d lost a fight with a cheese grater. We’re stiff, sore, bruised, cut, and fried to a crisp. Please help. Also, we think one of us may have lost a flip-flop and a little dignity.

— Sincerely,

Sunburnt, Soaked, and Slightly Traumatized

Dear Sunburnt, Soaked, and Slightly Traumatized

That’s not a float trip… that’s a full body exfoliation with bonus trauma.

Call the office. We’ve got ice, alignments, and aloe.

We’ll help you feel human again—flip-flop not included. 🩴

Always here for you,

Dr. Aaron